The ThreeTwo Philosophy

When I was a kid my family got a pontoon boat. This was boss. We fished. We grilled. We toured Lake Gogebic. We had adventure. People fell off. Radios, lots and lots of radios fell off. One time my Grandfather's bowling team almost sank it while overloaded with bowlers and their spouses. But one story about the pontoon boat has (metaphorically) been one of the driving principles of my life.

The opening week of fishing season was always a big event, not big enough for me to miss school, but big. All the men in the extended family would go out to our cottage and bachelor it up for a week.  Grilled meats, beers, manhattans, and hopefully, fried fish fresh out of Lake Gogebic. When you're out on the lake fishing with a group of guys anything goes. If you have to farmer blow, you farmer blow. If you have to fart, you fart and blame it on passing ducks. If you have to piss, you piss right off the side of the boat. If you grill bratwurst and sauerkraut and you have to take a massive shit, you do it in a coffee can. This is a group of men.

Wait. What?

If you grill bratwurst and sauerkraut, and that sauerkraut comes back to bite you approximately two miles across the lake from your property, well, sometimes you have to do things that you're not proud of. That includes filling a 2lb coffee can with 3lbs of shit, and then sinking it in the lake. That is the story that has been told. That is why the small bay across Lake Gogebic from our cottage has been christened "3/2 Bay" (unbeknownst to the property owners on said bay). That is the legacy that has been left to me.

And that is why I live life like I do. I have to remind you, the reader, that is indeed purely metaphor. I have not literally shit in to a coffee can, though it seems to be in familial nature to do so, and I'd be proud to carry on that tradition. What I mean is that I talk a lot of shit, I take wildly strong opinions on things, and then throw them out in to the world, just like that coffee can. Just the other day I called the bro-country band Florida-Georgia Line "lowest common denominator puke." I know, that's a hot take. I come from a storytelling people. We can all talk and spin a yarn, dare I say we are a family of lesser raconteurs. I want a larger forum to opine, and not offend some of my "tender hearted" Facebook friends. Twitter is good for spur of the moment ridiculousness, but sometimes you want to sit down and put good old pen to paper (well, fingers to Macbook, que sera), and write a screed. A SCREED DAMMIT!

Let's go back to Lake Gogebic for a second. The angle is kind of looking to the northeast, not directly to shore, but I'm pretty sure this picture was taken in 3/2 Bay, and based on the hat my uncle John (left) is wearing, this may have been the same summer of the infamous 3/2 incident.

The moral? Be really careful when consuming lake water. Just the number of radios from our boat alone can't be good for anyone. Nor can keeping 3lbs of shit pent up, even if you only have a 2lb can.

~j